i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
A bitchslap is in order.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
