im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Randomize
