I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Randomize
