i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
