life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
