Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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