is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Randomize
