And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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