Its about making memories worth repressing
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
