My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
