im holly from the hills drunk
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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