paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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