did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I'm always down for nudity.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
