i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
he was CRYING into my vagina
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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