i already hear my dad disowning me
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
