Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
