i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
