i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
