Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
