and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Randomize
