in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
