You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
