I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
