she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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