Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
