i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
