I like to think it a success when the cops are called
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
bring money and cleavage
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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