i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
