Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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