Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
