I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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