If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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