Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
