Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
