y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
