If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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