He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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