thus making me awesome and them whores
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
