first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
