Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
