you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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