Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
