The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
