I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
