im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Tornado booty call.. dedication
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Randomize
