i think my tv is drunk
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
