WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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