apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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