There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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