thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
