im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize
