in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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