Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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