time to smoke my breakfast
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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