fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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