I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
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