Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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